My Wife's Sword Wound

This is the best kind of story: short and funny. A few months ago Gina cut her finger while slicing bagels with a sharp kitchen knife. The angle and depth of the cut made it necessary for her to go to the hospital emergency room for a few stitches. The good news is that it healed quickly and left only the faintest scar.

A few weeks ago she received a phone call from a representative of her health insurance company who wanted to ask her some questions about the accident. It seems that the hospital had accidentally entered the wrong diagnostic code when filing her claim so that it appeared that she had been cut by a sword instead of a kitchen knife, triggering an automatic investigative review.

Gina quickly straightened out the matter and learned that it's a fairly common mistake as the codes are apparently only a few digits apart. It's a good thing it didn't happen to me because I might have strung them along for awhile. When telemarketers call for "Mrs. Herring" (even though we are on the "no call" list there is apparently some exception for agencies that have received money from you at any time in the past) I've been known to drop my voice a little deeper and say "I'm Mrs. Herring, what can I do for you?" If they persist in asking for money I tell them I'll never give them another dime because one of their employees ran over my grandmother's cat and sped away laughing. They usually don't call again.

I guess there is one person who could legitimately get a sword wound slicing a bagel. Have you ever seen John Belushi's "Samurai Delicatessen" bit from 30 years ago? Click here to watch this classic Saturday Night Live routine.